Public restrooms frighten me. Lord only knows what actually happens in there. I'm sure that someday, there will be a "Caught on Tape" involving lewd acts in these cesspools of filth. Even those spreadsheets that mark how often an employee assesses the level of grossness and do absolutely nothing about it. I will actually suck it up, and venture into one, especially if my bladder is on the verge of exploding within my abdominal cavity.
So today, I was in Target, and, of course, I was on the verge of having an accident. I was tempted by Starbucks, so I needed to empty the tank. I entered, and was greeted by the vision of a woman changing her baby's diaper. Now, I know that baby's diapers need changing every so often. However, they are actually human beings, and this woman was speaking in "goo goo ga ga" language to this infant. Now, on first glance, for that split second, I assumed the kid must be no more than five months old. Therefore, it is prudent to actually speak in a normal, human vernacular, and not this annoying jibberish. When you tell your infant, "No more stinkies in public" multiple times, with the goo's and ga's placed ever so stealthily. I am completely perturbed when parents talk to a baby in this "baby talk". They may smile back at you, but, don't worry, they are actually making fun. Babies need to hear actual words, with proper inflection, and vocal tone. But, when parents do this "boo boo boo" and crap, they are annoyed, as am I.
