Saturday, March 29, 2008

Where the Annoying People's Kids Shop


Although I am not THAT misanthropic, I find that people annoy me more than amaze me.  I have become much less tolerant of human tendencies in my old age.  Currently, my patience has really worn thin as I observe that our prosperity, the youth of our nation, are holding themselves to standards of utter stupidity and superficiality.  While shopping with my cousins, we inevitably found ourselves in Hollister.  Here, we find cheap, ugly clothing inspired by the California fantasy lifestyle of slackerdom, excess, and lack of future vision.  The inspirations are the surfer dudes and the bikini chicks on the beaches of SoCal.  The loud, thumping, horrible pop music violates our cochlea.  Essentially, over-indulged white kids are the target population.  Of course, a couple of brown kids, like my cousins and me, have to make our appearance, to encourage diversity.  There is this club-like atmosphere, with the crowded interior, lack of appropriate clothing, and the atrocity that is Panic at the Disco reverberating through my ears and brain, like nails on a chalkboard.  I felt as though a few years had been lost from my life when we could finally leave the store.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Where the Annoying People Are


I love to go running.  In Houston, it is a rare moment when the weather is a comfortable temperature, there is no humidity, and the air has the slightest breeze, which doesn't carry any particular odor.  My iPod and I can enjoy the semi-fresh air.  However, going to the local park is a very interesting experience.  Memorial Park in Houston is a poor man's Central Park.  It is a 3-mile circle around a golf course.  However, on Monday evenings, it becomes a local hotspot, like Butter or Bungalow 8 in New York.  Everyone dons their designer running attire.  Women literally wear full make-up, fix their hair, and don't run at a sweat-inducing speed.  The stunningly hot men are all out in full-force: shirtless and sweaty.  Actually, the sweat stains on people's shirts make good Rorschach Personality Test ink blots.  As for those gorgeous, shirtless men, they would definitely not be interested in someone like me.  I try to touch, but, I can't get close enough for a quick ass-grab.  However, the chicks are terribly annoying, like mosquitoes that you smash and then more buzz around.  The blond highlights, fake implants, and fake tans are rampant, looking to be someone's trophy.  Sadly, they are in better shape than those of us who put effort into running.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Let's Rodeo!



Every year, Houston is home of the Livestock Show and Rodeo.  All of our Future Farmers of America arrive to show their prized pigs, cows, and what not.  After all the bull-roping, steer-wrestling, etc., there is a lovely entertainment spectacle, typically featuring a country singer.  So, I paid my Texatriotic duty and ventured to the land of faux tanned, faux blond, highlighted, Posh Spice-angled-bobbed chicks and cowboy-hatted, tobacco chewin' dudes.  I was shocked and bewildered at the effort people put into the whole rodeo thing.  Many horny young folk looking for that post-rodeo hook-up.  Eww!  My rodeo fantasy had nothing to do with hot, manly cowboys, but, everything to do with funnel cakes adorned with powdered sugar and M&M's.   

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Race and our world

I used my time on the elliptical trainer to finally read the 11-page transcript of Senator Barack Obama's speech on race in America.  Finally, the news junkets compelled him to justify the role of Rev. Jeremaiah Wright in his life.  I must say, the speech was powerful and representative of the sentiments of many.  However, is it really necessary?  So, every time the press digs up something that is potentially a skeleton, does there have to be some landmark speech?  There will be more states of the union taking over the airwaves, pissing people off as they miss "Grey's Anatomy".  Maureen Dowd's perspective is always a relief, and validation that, well, some of us aren't crazy.  Even after he had to spend 20 minutes going through his entire family tree's racial lineage, he still gets my vote.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Reverend Jeremaiah Wright, the controversial spiritual advisor of hopefully future President Barack Obama, has officially taken the Elliot Spitzer position of this week's Hot Topic.  Bill O'Reilly also has validated his ability to beat a topic like a dead horse in his little show this evening.  He interviewed his quota of token African American religious figures and beraded them as usual.  However, I still don't really see the big deal.  Reverend Wright just verbalizes what people really think.  O'Reilly commented that Caucasian people don't outwardly express how they would like to cause physical harm and death to various individuals of ethnic minorities, in spite of harboring those feelings.  Mr. O'Reilly forgets that Caucasians verbally threatening everyone else just wear white hoods and burn crosses.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Bret Michaels--the ultimate manwhore


As I watch "Rock of Love 2" with Bret Michaels, I have decided that it is definitely my favorite show ever.  Today, there was an Indian-Eastern-Healer-Chakra-Expert dude named Satish.  Satish examined the chakras of Bret, Ambre, and Kristy Joe.  Finally, Kristy Joe, karma caught up with her, and she decided to leave.  All the chicks in the house are wavering between "OMG, he just lost the real chick for whom he was hot" and "FINALLY SHE'S GONE"!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Big "O"


I am not sure if I have actually ever had a real orgasm.  However, earlier this week, I think I actually may have had one.  That old feeling came (no pun intended) when I noticed that Lollapalooza would not only have Radiohead AND Nine Inch Nails, but, also, wait for it. . .RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!  I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Aaaah, okay--I think I need a cigarette, or something!