As I skip my department holiday party, I am lost in reverie as I am processing the movie, "Bowling for Columbine", which I just watched on IFC for the fifth-sixth time. It is one of my all-time favorite films, and definitely is my favorite Michael Moore film. Mr. Moore provides the other perspective of our culture and really scrutinizes how entrenched in fear and loathing we really are. In the film, during a conversation with Marilyn Manson, who is frequently targeted as the etiology of all that is evil with youth, Mr. Manson actually made a wonderful point that our media really brainwashes youth with tremendous fear, which results in frivolous consumption of material goods. We are afraid that if we don't fit into society's box of what is normal, beautiful, and perfect, then we must consume these marketed products to conform us into a being that can be accepted into society's box. I began to ponder more about hanging out with a couple of my friends last night. We were attempting to have a holiday party, and three of us got together at a local hotspot. I, personally, am not a bar person and I avoid the "scene" like the plague. I find it terribly shallow, superficial, and rather irritating. So many people who physically fit society's standards of beauty and then are attempting to outdo each other by wearing the most expensive clothes or carry the most expensive designer accessories, all purchased on credit. The two friends I joined were very beautiful, blond women. Now, we work together and we happen to be pretty good friends. There happened to be a couple of groups of Indian kids hanging out there, as well as groups of white people, Latino people, and African American people. However, I, the very brown, Indian chick, was hanging out with very blond women. I also was dressed pretty white. I just realized today, that I even have a white-girl haircut. I am sure that if groups of Indians see me with a couple of blond women, they are probably thinking that I'm a coconut--or white on the inside, brown on the outside. If a group of white people see me, they probably think that I'm a wannabe white person. Now, I realize, that on some level, I don't meet the societal standards of beauty, as I have brown skin, and although I am thin, I am well endowed in my bust, and I have what I like to call, a "Bollywood Booty". White guys, Indian guys, and Asian guys appear to be more comfortable with anorexic, crack-skinny chicks, or fake breasts. African American guys and Latino guys are more comfortable with curvy women, however, they just go about things in the wrong way. Those of us with natural curves are desired, yet guys are intimidated by us. Quite strange, indeed.
Therefore, should I be afraid, that because I am a brown girl, with a white-girl haircut, who hangs out with a diverse group of people, and is naturally curvy without being overweight, that I may just be single the rest of my life. Should I consume a product, like alcohol or meat, that helps me conform into a robotic being that is appealing to guys who should like me? I remember considering buying a Lexus, thinking maybe guys would think I was cool if I drove an expensive car after seeing many Indian chicks driving BMW's, Mercedeses, Lexuses, etc. Of course, the momentary lapse of reason was just that, momentary, and I have been happy with my Prius for three years.
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