So, I survived another annual Single Awareness Day, on February 14. I feel irritated with how utterly commercial and stupid the whole Valentine's thing is. My fondest memories are from elementary school, when we made those dumb boxes, had Valentine Cards for all of our classmates, and had a little party where we collected sugary, processed sweets. Now, I am attacked by television advertisements, consumer specials, and annoying couples. . .everywhere. Since I am trying to turn over a new leaf and be more open to meeting people in less traditional methods, I decided to take the eHarmony personality inventory. Every other commercial on the television was showing how these actors are pretending to be people who were "matched" and had been "communicating" for the last 5 years. So, I thought, why not? I will see who my matches are for free. This personality test consists of about 1,000 questions. Supposedly, these questions are designed to find the real person inside and match everyone appropriately. However, the questions are the dumbest questions I have ever seen. It was to the level of, "If you were to be a tree, which would you be and why?" Then, after you answer that question, there are these follow up questions, like: "I would allow a dog to pee on my trunk, often-sometimes-never", to ellicit one's true personality. I lost interest when it was time to upload a picture. I didn't have time, and didn't feel like having some weird dude look at my picture and do who knows what with it. Since that day, a week ago, I have gotten no less than 30 emails a day, with subject lines like, "It's time for you to meet your match David" and "Don't you want to know what you and Dhiraj have in common?" Obviously, my answer is no. Today, they sent me the best email subject line: "Are you a skeptic?" Yes, folks, I am. I don't believe that the love of my life is going to be pinpointed on some dating website that uses hot people in commercials who would never need to be on a dating website, because they're hot and everyone wants to date them. So, I may just decide to upload a photo and try it out, who knows.
Nonetheless, I hosted the 2nd annual Single Awareness Day party for a few of my fellow independent, unattached friends, with fried food and wine. One of my friends, I will call the "Bird Whisperer". The Bird Whisperer had a family of blue jays who built a nest on her patio. She closely watched the mother bird constructing a nest, which was a very precise and detailed process. Bird Whisperer then watched the eggs hatch, the baby birds grow, and eventually, leave the nest. She became obsessed with these birds, and even photographed every stage of their lives. She told us a story about one day, when she was going to her mailbox. All of a sudden, she heard the frantic, distressed cries of a group of blue jays, who had all come together to help the couple. She looked at the blue jays, and then noticed that one of the youngsters was trying very hard to escape from a neighborhood stray cat. My friend dropped her mail and ran to the rescue of the young blue jay, by shooing away the cat (who missed his meal for the day), and safely placing the young bird into the tree. Therefore, she has now reached the ranks of Cesar Milan, with her ability to communicate and understand the cries of the blue jays. Her sister just calls her a crazy bird lady.
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