The Trials & Tribulations of the Rich, the Blond, and the Skinny

As we spent the Thanksgiving holiday gorging on the never-ending media buffet of Tiger Woods's motor vehicle accident, Black Friday, shopping, and White House party crashers, we must ask ourselves, "WTF?" I remember the headline of "Party Crashers at the State Dinner", trailing in a banner on every cable news channel. Multiple pundits, senior correspondents, anchors, and the like, offered insights and perspectives. Michaele and Tareq Salahi are now household names, spending time at the table on the lips of families during the holiday meal, garnishing their turkey or Tandoori chicken. Frankly, the endless montage of video clips featuring a rather skeletal, blonde lady adorned in a tradition Indian lenga being twirled around by a plump, older gentleman were becoming rather nauseating. Even Michaele Salahi's hairstylist milked her fifteen minutes of fame, discussing the entire process involved in the preparation for making an entrance at such a grand event. She detailed how long the hair took to be flat-ironed, as well as how she dressed in her Indian outfit at the salon. Although a detailed investigation of why the Secret Service failed to provide the appropriate barrier, where was the White House Social secretary, how did they get to shake President Obama's hand, etc., there is a basic breakdown. Obviously, the secret service agent's penis played an important role in who was able to enter the State Dinner without an invitation, and who wasn't. When a skinny, blonde chick flirts, manipulates, and persuades, the penis responds. However, if an Indian woman, like myself, dressed in my best sari, attempted such a feat, I would be in Guantanamo Bay, under investigation by the F.B.I, C.I.A., and Interpol (unfortunately, not the band). It never ceases to amaze me how quickly penises respond to blonde chicks, regardless of how high-pitched the voice may be, how demanding or needy, or even entitled. I would have thought that an overwhelming support for a President who is of different background from the moral majority would change these things. Yet, it's not ever really going to change. . .the skinny, blonde chick will always have power over the penis.