Stinkiest Airlines

I absolutely hate flying on airplanes.  If it weren't for Frank Rich's book, my iPod, and a cup of ice. . .err, Diet Coke. . .I would be driven to a Xanax, Valium, and Tequila cocktail.  Of course, I have a tendency to fly Southwest Airlines, and I am obsessed with being in boarding group A.  If I'm not in boarding group A, I am not having a good flight.

So, since I get my pick of the prime seats, I usually try to pick a window seat without pretzel and peanut debris that is as close as possible to the front and still a safe distance from the exit row.  Since I am South Asian, I am usually the one that people avoid, except for elde

rly couples who are interested in what makes me tick.  Occasionally, the single traveling chick sits in my row.  As we were nearing departure, and the middle seat next to me was empty, I was preparing to move my bag under that middle seat to secure extra legroom.  However, my 

plan was foiled, when a young man talking on his cellphone sat in the seat.  An odor began to permeate my nostrils very shortly afterwards.  My first reaction was to very casually get a whif of my own armpits, and all was well.  It eventually occurred to me that the young man adorned in athletic gear sitting beside me had been involved in a physical activity and did not bother to shower afterwards.  My instinct told me he probably had gone for several days without any cleansing procedure.  However, even stinky people are nice, and in spite of the B.O., he was kind of cute.  He asked to borrow my Rolling Stone magazine.  I 

would have burned it, however, I like the Obama cover.