Mutiny and Mayhem In the Galleria

I really hate shopping.  Yes, I am a woman and yes, I love to get dressed up in cute clothes/shoes, etc., etc.  However, I really hate shopping.  However, I will go to a mall if convinced by friends or family to do so.  Now, on Halloween night (really great night to shop), my friend wanted to go shopping, and she thought it would be great to go to a new outlet mall, the Houston Premium Outlets.  This place has been a bit nonexistent for me, as I never really bothered to venture out to CyFair and take advantage of the designer outlet stores, such as Coach, Kate Spade, etc.  We decided to go and then have dinner afterwards.  In anticipation, I was looking forward to seeing the Kate Spade selections as well some of the other stores.  I never realized that I would have to travel the great frontier of Texas, like Manifest Destiny.  I literally conquered native territory, fighting the natives as well as the white dudes who thought it belonged to them.  It seemed as though I would not be able to make it to this place before the next millenium, and it is considered to be a suburb of Houston.  Finally, I arrived at my destination and was sorely disappointed at the lack of selection and outrageously high prices.  I had an inckling of hope that maybe, just maybe, the crappy economic situation would result in sympathetically reduced prices and further reductions upon purchase. However, this was not quite the case.  Banana Republic is my favorite store for clothing, and I know it's pretentious.  The outlet stores are a little bit of a joke, as most of the clothes look like the designs that were "Out" and didn't make the runway shows.  Also, some of the designs appeared to utilize thrown away scraps of material to make newer, uglier clothes.  

Another friend was in dire need of a fashion intervention.  So, in guiding her through the outer-transformation process, a couple of us took her to the Houston Galleria.  Now, this place is absolutely chaotic.  It seems like all these rich Latin and Asian people need somewhere to throw away money and since we aren't Vegas, the Galleria is the best place.  However, on a Saturday afternoon, there are so many freaks who are there to see and be seen.  Many fake-boobed, fake-tanned, fake-blond bimbos grace various corners, as well as the fake-(fill-in-the-blank) women of other ethnic groups.  They swarm through the stores, and snatch items like vultures.  Fitting rooms are somewhat of a safe haven from the crazies with money of Houston.  However, they take up fitting rooms with personal shoppers who guide them through the cold, dark aisles of clothing racks.  We decided to leave with out heads throbbing and ears ringing, and finally, have some relief of discomfort.  I think I had a few items snatched out of my hand, as well.  Even more annoying are the pretentious yuppie couples, needing to hold hands or be physically attached.  I always feel the need to say "RED ROVER" and charge through, potentially, knocking someone over.  Of course, if the dude is hot, I can take him over and keep him with me.. .  Please enjoy the following--and Gov Palin, I would LOVE to chat and get the answer!