Hot Guys and Cold Booze--Nothing Better!

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Okay, I am totally loving this guy, with the clever message T-shirt. He has wormed his way into my heart, and it doesn't even bother me that he will get laid and I won't. I am not annoyed that he will have more sex in one month than I have had in my entire lifetime. It reminds me of "Superbad" a little, when the ambition of the nerdy, loser guys was to be mistake sex for some hot chick.

When Idiots Grade a President

Today marked the first 100 days of the Obama Administration. Life was already better when President Obama won in November, as just knowing that we were never going to have to deal with the Bush Administration was a wonderful and joyous occasion.  Now, we have this landmark anniversary of President Obama's time in office.  He, unfortunately, walked right into a colossal disaster, which was left by his predecessor.  After an eloquent and informative press conference today, I am confident that we have one of the best Presidents in our nation's history.

So, WTF is all this crap about "grading" the President's first 100 days?  We VOTED for the man, for crying out loud!  Isn't that enough of a "grade" or positive support?  I find this cable news assault infuriating, and essentially insulting, as a human being with functional brain activity.  President Obama is accomplishing more in 100 days of his presidency than many previous leaders.  He is focused, thoughtful, passionate, about rebuilding the morale of the American people.  He appeals to Americans of all ethnicities, genders, and ages.  People can criticize to their heart's content.  After all, this is the U.S.A., where our forefathers fought for freedom of speech, happiness, health, and so on.  I don't remember ever "grading" a President before.  President GW Bush never really got that scrutinized early in office, and he turned out to be one of the worst Presidents in history.  

Damn that Bret Michaels!

I didn't want to do it, but, I did, and I am so ashamed.  I watched "Daisy of Love" on Vh1.  Partially, I was curious to see how Daisy, one of Bret Michael's sloppy seconds, could get her own television show.  She is on a mission to promote herself and hopefully, for her, hook up in the process.  She has followed the tradition of giving nicknames to all of the guys, with the assistance of host, Riki Rachtman.  In fact, he basically produced the nicknames for her.  He obviously has more functional brain cells than Daisy, and therefore, was able to provide some clever pseudonyms, such as "Fox", for a Chris Cornell wannabe, whom she finds hot.  Also, there is "Flex", a guy who manages a gym.  As with many reality-ish shows, a former member of a few casts, "12-pack" resurfaced and claims to be attracted to Daisy.  He made a point that he was not present for the pomp and circumstance, but, to win Daisy's heart.  However, my favorites were these Swedish triplets, who couldn't have been older than 18.  They resembled one of those prototype European androgynous "rock" bands, kind of like Germany's Tokio Hotel.  Each triplet was nicknames, "84", "85", and "86", as Rachtman felt these were the years in which they seemed to be stuck.  So, with their heavily teased, hairsprayed, and sculpted hair, they admitted with thick Swedish accents that they were hoping to partake of free booze and food, and maybe hook up in the process.  Daisy is another story, however,  as she is a well made-up, Pamela Anderson wannabe, and she claims to sing and be a musician.  There is no attempt to make her seem semi-intelligent.  I truly think Rachtman's presence is to provide compensatory brain function.  

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He's a Keeper, and I've Already Seen him Naked (NSFW)

So, it is really I'm at a loss, because this guy embodies all these amazing qualities that make him a desirable man.  First of all, he is at Coachella, which means he must love music like I do.  He has the ponytail, which is usually maintained by men who are artistic or adventurous.  He had this flattering wizard ensemble on, and I am afraid that when he was naked, if he is single, I can see how.  However, I was drawn to this man, as he seemed to have a sense of individuality and confidence, since he was wearing a wizard robe and, then, was able to be before many strangers without the physical protection of his robe.  He bravely battled the police officers, and withstood the tasering.  His strength and confidence are admirable, as I wonder how it is not fair that people like him get to go to Coachella and I don't. Hmmm
Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

If You Talk to Larry King or Dr. Phil. . .

Being the sucker for a good old-fashioned Baby Mama Drama, I got to spend my Saturday night watching Bristol Palin's baby daddy and ex-fiance, Levi Johnston on "Larry King Live".  He was joined by his mother and sister, who offered their moral support and expressed their love for baby Tripp.  In Levi's mind, he is probably sharing his saga with various media junkets to drum up some sympathy for himself.  He shares this sad story of a young man, who longs to have a relationship with his infant son, and is prevented from doing so by the megalomaniac Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin.  Governor Palin is the evil queen, keeping the prince away from the princess.  Levi has the love of his mother and sister on his side, his strongest weapons against the powerful Governor Palin.  I am always fascinated with Caucasian folks who run to Larry King, Greta Van Sustern, and Nancy Grace, as if these people are the golden tickets to prolonging their fifteen minutes.  Larry grilled Levi on every intimate detail of his relationship with Bristol, including where they had sex, how many times, favorite sexual positions, etc.  Larry wanted to know if everyone's parents were aware, how they reacted to being notified of the pregnancy, and the gory details of the current Palin vs Johnston feud.  Levi's sister, Mercede, also revealed that she wants a relationship with the baby and she was not allowed to talk to Levi, her brother/BFF, because Bristol didn't like her.  This kind of drama is better than soap operas or the craziest novella on Univision.  I noticed that the Johnston family had some very odd facial expressions and delayed responses to questions.  I heard Larry King is rather flatulent during interviews, so I wonder how that impacted this whole event.

The Legend that is my Dad

Most immigrant fathers are a little weird, maybe slightly crazy.  My East Indian dad is completely insane.  I don't even think that there is a clinical description in the DSM-4 of a psychiatric disorder which properly describes the level of mental instability my dad has.  I am not sure where to begin, as he is quite a distinct entity.  As many men do, he has a incurable habit of blurting out what comes to mind, without exercising impulse control.  As his frontal lobe is not providing a good shield, he tends to do things without thinking, as well.  I remember, as a kid, I would hear from my mom how inappropriate he was.  However, as I am now the adult woman in the family, I realize just what a pill my dad is.  One of the most recent memorable experiences occurred at a wedding of one of his friends.  The groom happened to be a Marine, and used his uniform sword to cut the wedding cake.  During the dancing portion of the reception, my dad had this brilliant idea.  I had my back turned to the stage, and noticed people pointing to the front.  When I turned around slowly, I was greeted with the vision of my dad, dancing with the Marine's sword.  Noone could wrestle the sword away, and after about 20 minutes of dancing on the stage with a Marine's sword, he finally stopped.  I was mortified, and I really wasn't sure how to continue that evening.  

Recently, my dad has been using Christianity and various Christian facts/issues about which he knows absolutely nothing.  His current favorite phrase is "God made Adam", then, he will continue with his thought.  Recently, he purchased a pair of women's pajama pants.  He continues to happily wear them, and I think that he even enjoys it.  He has been taking a cooking class, and is convinced that he is still an expert at making soup, in spite of having an actual instructor.  He pulls the usual craziness of asking dumb questions of restaurant servers, retail check-out people, and any one else who comes in his path.  Strangely, he can actually turn on the charm and behave like a normal human being.  But, those occasions are few and far between the public farting, burping, and verbal outbursts.