The Legend that is my Dad

Most immigrant fathers are a little weird, maybe slightly crazy.  My East Indian dad is completely insane.  I don't even think that there is a clinical description in the DSM-4 of a psychiatric disorder which properly describes the level of mental instability my dad has.  I am not sure where to begin, as he is quite a distinct entity.  As many men do, he has a incurable habit of blurting out what comes to mind, without exercising impulse control.  As his frontal lobe is not providing a good shield, he tends to do things without thinking, as well.  I remember, as a kid, I would hear from my mom how inappropriate he was.  However, as I am now the adult woman in the family, I realize just what a pill my dad is.  One of the most recent memorable experiences occurred at a wedding of one of his friends.  The groom happened to be a Marine, and used his uniform sword to cut the wedding cake.  During the dancing portion of the reception, my dad had this brilliant idea.  I had my back turned to the stage, and noticed people pointing to the front.  When I turned around slowly, I was greeted with the vision of my dad, dancing with the Marine's sword.  Noone could wrestle the sword away, and after about 20 minutes of dancing on the stage with a Marine's sword, he finally stopped.  I was mortified, and I really wasn't sure how to continue that evening.  

Recently, my dad has been using Christianity and various Christian facts/issues about which he knows absolutely nothing.  His current favorite phrase is "God made Adam", then, he will continue with his thought.  Recently, he purchased a pair of women's pajama pants.  He continues to happily wear them, and I think that he even enjoys it.  He has been taking a cooking class, and is convinced that he is still an expert at making soup, in spite of having an actual instructor.  He pulls the usual craziness of asking dumb questions of restaurant servers, retail check-out people, and any one else who comes in his path.  Strangely, he can actually turn on the charm and behave like a normal human being.  But, those occasions are few and far between the public farting, burping, and verbal outbursts.